


You Can't Love Me

by feathersandriddles



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Autism, Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Usage of the R word, a lot of crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathersandriddles/pseuds/feathersandriddles
Summary: Alternative ending to 3x14. Edward has Oswald tied to Isabella's car, acid hanging over their heads, ready to fall at Edward's cue. Oswald can't stop saying he loves Edward even when he's about to face death and something in Edward snaps.





	You Can't Love Me

"I did it because I love you. You should know that."

"Shut up!"

Edward roughly grabbed Oswald's face with one hand, trying to prevent him from speaking any further. He had Oswald tied to Isabella's car with acid over their heads, ready to fall on Edward's cue.

Isabella. The woman Oswald killed out of jealousy not love. The second chance at having a normal life and it was taken from him.

"Love is about sacrifice. It's about putting someone else's needs and happiness before your own."

"Ed, please-"

"The truth is, Oswald...you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck. Even me." Edward said the last line with a hint of sadness.

His best friend, ex best friend, betrayed him. Edward thought he was the exception but Oswald saw him like he sees everyone else, someone he can scheme behind their back. He wouldn't admit it but that hurt more than what Oswald did to Isabella.

Oswald frantically shook his head.

"I would die before letting anyone lay a hand on you. I was willing to kill anyone that crossed my path when trying to get you when I thought you were kidnapped. I love you, Ed and I'm-"

"Stop saying that! Stop saying you love me! It's not true!" Edward interrupted.

"Of course it's true. I love you so much and I'm so sorry. You're right. I should have been able to sacrifice my own happiness for yours. But I'm ready now. If you believe killing me will bring you happiness, so be it. I love you, Ed and I always will."

"Stop...just stop. This is not how this was suppose to go." Edward said with a sob and looked down to avoid his misty eyes from making eye contact with Oswald's. "This wasn't suppose to hurt so bad."

Oswald wanted to reach out to Edward so badly but his hands were tied for the moment and he could do nothing but see the love of his life break down.

"Ed, talk to me. Please."

"You can't love me."

"And why is that?"

"Because you hurt me!" Edward said finally looking at Oswald, tears running down his cheeks.

"You say you love me but then go on and hurt me. You're not suppose to hurt the ones you love. I've been there before."

"What do you mean?" Oswald asked.

Besides the obvious tears, Edward was composed enough to let an explanation spill out.

"My own parents didn't love me and I know they didn't because of how they treated me. I was their weird kid who loved dissecting on road kill and preferred doing puzzles and reading rather than going outside to play sports. They took me to so many doctors to see what was wrong with me. There they found out I was on the spectrum of autism and ever since then they always treated me like "a retard." That's what they always used to call me!

They would never believe my good grades were achieved on my own. They thought I cheated. All the time. Especially my father. He would most of the time beat me merely just because I existed but would use me cheating as an excuse. How can you say you love me when you hurt me not the way they did but just not as bad? You betrayed me, Oswald. You took something away from me that made me happy. You lied. You made me look stupid by letting me go after the wrong people for Isabella's murder. A friend isn't suppose to do that especially a friend that claims to be in love with you."

Oswald was speechless. He honestly couldn't believe everything he just heard. He caused Edward so much pain just like his parents did in his childhood.

"Ed, please untie me. If you still want me dead afterwards then so be it but please untie me just for right now."

Edward stood there staring at him for a few long seconds before taking out a pocket knife and cutting the rope. Once the last rope fell, Oswald immediately wrapped his arms around Edward into the tightest hug. Edward let the knife fall to the floor and collapsed his whole body against Oswald's, openly crying.

"Oh, Ed. I'm so so sorry you had to go through all that. You were just a child. There was nothing wrong with you just like how there's nothing wrong with you now. That bright brain of yours is one of the many things I love about you. I don't care what diagnosis you have, you're still Edward Nygma. The man that I love. I know you don't believe that now because of what I put you through but I can't help but say it.

I want to remind you everyday that I do. I want to give you endless affection because it's what you deserve. You're so beautiful, Edward and I really don't deserve you. I understand why you don't want me. I reminded you of the past you don't want to remember and I hate myself for that. When I say I'm sorry, I really am. I deserve everything you did to me the past week because it's exactly what I did to you. If you still want to kill me then go for it, Ed. I won't stop you."

During Oswald's speech, Edward moved his arms from his sides and wrapped it around Oswald's frame just as tight.

"If you break me, I’ll not stop working.  
If you can touch me, my work is done.  
If you lose me, you must find me with a ring soon after. What am I?"

"Ed, what-"

"The heart. You had my heart. I'm not sure for how long but I never thought you would ever return the feelings so I shut my feelings off. I was oblivious because I can't read emotions that good unless you tell me and thinking back I see now how many times you tried but it was never the right time. Maybe that's why I fell for Isabella so hard. She was easy. Something I was familiar with. Someone I for once could actually read. My second chance....but she never really was, was she? My second chance was by me this whole time and I didn't even know."

Oswald buried his face into Edward's shoulder the moment he heard him say he had his heart and cursed himself for everything he decided to do instead of just talking. Edward's chin was on Oswald's shoulder the whole time while he was talking and pulled back a bit to look into Oswald's eyes to say one last thing, hands now on Oswald's hips.

"I don't know what to feel about you anymore. I don't know what this all means. You hurt me but you did something the ones who hurt me before never did and that's apologize and feel bad. I do know one thing though and that's I don't want to kill you."

Edward put his forehead against Oswald's.

"I can't forgive you just yet. It's going to take some time but I want to trust you again."

Oswald gave Edward hopeful smile and his cheeks reddened a bit at how close they were.

"Take all the time you need, Ed. I understand."

"Do you really still love me? After everything I did to you?"

Oswald responded without any hesitation.

"Yes. I should be angry at you but I'm not. You could have shot me and I would have still forgiven you because that's what true love is."

Now it was Edward's turn to give a small hopeful smile in return. He planted a kiss on Oswald's forehead and then moved away from him.

"I'm going to give Barbara and friends a call to tell them I don't want anything to do with them anymore. I suggest rounding up men in case they plan to attack since Barbara really wants to be the Queen of Gotham."

Oswald chuckled. "It's gonna take way more then whatever they'll come up with to take me down."

Edward smiled. "I know."

"So where do we go from here?" Oswald asked, fear in his voice.

Edward approached Oswald again and placed a hand on his cheek. Oswald placed his hand over Edward's.

"I'm going to give you all the information you'll need to bring the trio down and secure your title then I'm gonna leave for awhile."

Ed quickly continued when he saw Oswald about to say something.

"I promise I will come back. I can't stay away from you for too long anyways. Give me the time I need and then maybe we can go back to the way we were."

"As friends?"

"It was never really a friends love, was it? I hope for something more if you'll still have me, because Oswald in the end you still have my heart."

"And you will always have mine."

"Good." Edward dropped his hand from Oswald's cheek. "Until we meet again."

He began walking towards the exit of the warehouse.

Oswald touched the part of his forehead that Edward kissed earlier and whispered, "Until we meet again, my friend."

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review. It'll be much appreciated.


End file.
